


You're Dazzling

by softsocky



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Confessions, Fluff, Lets pretend for a moment that Binnie wrote CSC okay?, M/M, Song writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2019-02-02 22:34:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12735663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softsocky/pseuds/softsocky
Summary: He typed the title out, put it in bold, underlined it, so that maybe one day Dongmin would find it and it would make more sense to him, make him realise how damn important he truly is: 'Crazy, Sexy, Cool.'





	You're Dazzling

He told Dongmin that the song was written by a small group of song writers in the outskirts of Seoul, claiming that although they strictly specialised in solo works, they wrote ‘Crazy, Sexy, Cool’ especially with Astro in mind. The others knew, of course, that it hadn’t been.

In his ideal world, Bin would be writing all of Astro’s songs – but life gets in the way sometimes, and keeping up with both his dancing and Fantagio’s promotional schedules pushes Bin’s ideal world further and further out of his reach. He did get a taste for this world, however, when they had one day off.

He awoke earlier than normal; early enough that Dongmin was still snoring lightly down below. Bin didn’t have to move from the top bunk to know that his legs were tucked up as high as they would go, arms tugging the blanket up over his chin, curled on his side. Bin smiled to himself, pulling his phone from under his pillow, inspiration swirling. He had felt shocked at how easy the words came – normally, he’d want to write onto paper; grip the pen in his hand, have something sturdy to latch onto to. Phones were distracting and typically absorbed his creative flow. But this time, Bin found himself writing his first full song in the amount of time it took Dongmin to stir awake in the bunk below, to whisper good morning to him, to make coffee, and to clamber up the bunk ladder and lie down beside him. Bin had hidden his phone at this point, shoved over to allow Dongmin to curl up into him. His eyes wavered until they shut once again, breathing evening out until he was asleep again – Bin smiled down at him, kissed the top of his head, rubbed his thumb gently along the sliver of exposed skin above his pyjamas trousers and where his shirt had ridden up.  

With one hand, Bin opened his phone again, scrolled to the top of his notes, where his lyrics began. He typed the title out, put it in bold, underlined it, so that maybe one day Dongmin would find it and it would make more sense to him, make him realise how damn important he truly is.

** Crazy, Sexy, Cool.  **

But that taste faded as quickly as it came, because telling Dongmin the truth of the songs origins became too heavy in his throat, too complex. Bin thought it would be easy enough to tell him – they were best friends, had been for over a year now. They shared a room, they shared clothes, they shared most things. But Bin couldn’t bring himself to share his feelings.

Because of his fear, he held back. Minhyuk had called it childish not to tell Dongmin the truth, especially considering the contents of the song, and how he’d get out of having to say anything at all to him about these _feelings_ if he just said to him “I wrote this song for you.”

But Bin _was_ childish. He was afraid and nervous and his anxiety had accumulated so much over a short period of time that his skin was worse than it had ever been, even worse than his early teens, and he had ulcers in his mouth, and struggled getting to sleep, even with Dongmin snuggled up to him. It was those nights that hurt the most. The ones where Dongmin would climb up the stairs after him, and Bin wouldn’t even question it. They’d just accommodate to each other, make space where space doesn’t exist, to the point where it’s not even space they’re taking up anymore: till two people merged into one. Those nights hurt because it reminded Bin of what he had to lose should Dongmin ever find out the truth of the song, the lyrics, _the words._

The others noticed the change. The change where Bin’s gaze would linger a few seconds longer than normal, or his hand would settle on Dongmin’s waist instinctively, and how Dongmin wouldn’t even notice the gesture, or the obscurity of it all. He was sillier, too, around Dongmin. Livestreams became more fun and eccentric, louder and brighter and more like the earlier days, when they weren’t as exhausted, and everything was all new and unfamiliar. The change was so obvious to them, but what startled the rest of the members the most was how oblivious they were to it. Dongmin acted no differently to the increased affection from his band member, in fact, he relished in it – threw it back as much as he received. But still, neither Dongmin or Bin seemed bothered or concerned by it.

That was, until, Bin couldn’t find his phone.

Crazy, Sexy, Cool had been out for a month, and Bin had almost, _almost,_ forgotten about the entire situation, the riskiness of keeping the lyrics on his phone, date attached to it well before the song was sent to them originally. However, as he patted around for his phone that morning, his hands came up empty. He pulled all his blankets aside, threw his pillows off the bed – nothing.  He checked Dongmin’s bed, too, but – _it wasn’t there._

 He had started to panic, and had no way of calling it either – Dongmin was at the dentist, and the rest of the boys were out of the dorm, leaving Bin alone all morning. He padded out to the kitchen, checking the bench and table one more time – that’s when he saw him.

Dongmin was by the front door, having just walked in. He had dropped his bag on the entranceway table, hair wind-tousled and cheeks as pink as his lips. That’s not what stunned Bin the most, though. What got him the most was seeing his phone in Dongmin’s hand.

Dongmin took a step closer to Bin, looking down at the phone in his hands. Bin looked, too, noticing that it was open at the note with the lyrics he wrote so many months ago. At this moment, Bin regretting not setting a passcode on his phone. Then, he regretted not deleting it. Then, thirdly, he regretted not telling Dongmin sooner, because he can deal with rejection, but he can’t deal with the sinking feeling of disappointing the man he loved.

  What came out of his mouth, however, was unexpected. “Crazy?”

Bin opened his eyes, not realising he had shut them. His vision was hazy – he had contacts in, but there were tears in his eyes. He feared the boy in front of him. He feared him, because he held all this power to either make or break his happiness, his heart. But his words didn’t profess any of that the way he thought they would. _Crazy?_ Bin was confused for a moment. _He’s asking you why you wrote him as crazy._

Bin leaned against the wall, watching Dongmin, standing there with his hair messy and his cheeks just as red as they were when he walked in. Bin realised now it wasn’t from the cold air, but from embarrassment from seeing Bin. Straightening his back, he cleared his throat.

 “You don’t like to admit it, I don’t think. That you’re crazy, I mean. You are. And it’s not a bad thing, God, it’s such a good thing. You’re crazy when you haven’t had your coffee in the morning, and you’re crazy when it’s your turn to drive and you get to control the music, and my god when a song you love comes on, you’re crazy when you sing to it. Your crazy because you do your best but still think it’s not enough, and you’re even crazier because you out do yourself just to prove to everyone who already love you that you’re enough. You’re crazy _because_ you’re so many different types of crazy. It’s one of my favourite things about you.”

 Dongmin’s eyes looked hazy, too, shimmering more than they were before. Bin must have been imagining it though, because all Dongmin said was “Sexy?”

Bin blushed deeply, feeling it spread from his ears, down his chest slightly. He scratched his head, “yeah, uh.” This one was harder to explain, but he owed him this much, he guessed. “You don’t realise this one, either, actually. You do this thing, where you bite your bottom lip when you’re heavily focused on something, and _shit,_ that does things to me, Min. And when you sing in the shower, you give it everything you’ve got, and it just reminds me of you performing for the first time we met at Fantagio. You blew me away that day; you were the sexiest person I had ever met. Maybe not in the erotic sense, maybe not in the typical sexy way. You’re sexy because you’re so very much _you_ , and that’s so untouchable and I’ve never seen anything like it before. And it doesn’t help when you walk around in trousers like _those_ ,” Bin groaned at the back of his throat when Dongmin looked down at his legs.

Dongmin took a step closer, raised an eyebrow, “Cool?” He was practically red at this point, but Bin was beyond caring, because Dongmin was just as red, and his delicate little hands were gripping on the bottom of his shirt, pulling them closer together.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Min. Everything you do is so cool; what you wear, how you sing, what you do. The fact that you’re crazy and sexy is what makes you cool; how you’re all those things but still this unexpected presence, and this spontaneous person unlike anyone I’ve ever met. You’re so cool, Dongmin, Min. God, you’re so cool.”

Dongmin snorted at this, dragged one hand up the front of Bin’s chest, resting at the base of his neck, thumbing at the hollow of his throat there. Bin shivered, wrapping one hand around Dongmin’s waist. He leant down, lips at his ear. It was corny, what he said next – of course it was, Bin was like that, but the words _were_ his, and they were always his, and they were words he had always wanted to say to Dongmin, but never had the guts to do it.

 “You’re dazzling, gorgeous babe.” He turned his head, kissed his cheek once, twice, three times, until Dongmin turned, too, titled his head up slightly, pressing their lips firmly together. On instinct, Bin’s hand tightened on his waist, the kiss becoming heavier, but slower, as Dongmin scratched and tugged at the back of his shirt. He walked Dongmin backwards, till his back hit the wall beside the front door of the dorm. Detaching his lips from his, Bin latched on to his neck, sucking and biting on the smooth skin he’d fantasied about since the moment they met. Dongmin let out a sound halfway between a moan and sigh, and it made Bin press himself even closer to him.

He wasn’t sure where it was going; frankly, he didn’t care. It could go everywhere or nowhere, so long as he got to hold Dongmin’s hands and kiss his cheeks every morning, tell him that he loves him, and that—

“It’s so easy to love you, too, Bin.”

 

 

                   

 

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this on my phone at 3am dont hate me for typos and stupid errors ok


End file.
